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Smoked salmon and mango may have the same texture, but giving me alternating bites is not funny. #mangofish is not a real food. Is it?

My parents were right—yesterday I got another tooth! Now I have both teeth. I’m sure glad that’s over. #teethingvictory

Thanks for letting me choose my own outfit today! Giraffes are better than stripes. Now let me choose my own nap schedule. #whatcouldgowrong

If I scream every time my mother leaves the room, how long will it take to train her? Because I’ve given her an hour to learn this, and that’s apparently not enough. #proximityalarm

“Teeth” is a funny word. You need teeth to say “teeth.” But how many teeth, exactly? I have both of my teeth, and it’s still coming out as “waaaaghghgh.” #phoneticslesson

When we go to the aquarium after my nap, will they have a #mangofish tank?

Oh my God, I am so sick of napping to the Backstreet Boys. Why not play me something interesting? And where did the last hour go? #backstreetbaby

My mother seems to have stepped out of the room again. You might want to cover your ears. #proximityalarm

Don’t tell me that’s a #mangofish. I know what a giant sea turtle looks like.