David’s conversion to Judaism: M’s words

Many people have jokingly asked whether we would break a glass at David’s conversion, as we did at our wedding. We won’t, because with four rabbis here we don’t feel the need to scare away any evil demons, and frankly I don’t want to diminish our joy. Instead of the breaking glass, the huppah is the right symbol to reference from our wedding. The huppah, or wedding canopy, references the home that the couple is creating through their marriage. The form of the huppah creates a private room for the couple that is nonetheless open on all four sides.

My childhood rabbi died the day after we returned home from Florida with David. Rabbi Bernard Stefansky, zichrono liv’racha, may his memory be for a blessing, used to talk to his congregations and his students about the importance of the story of Abraham’s tent being open on all four sides so he could welcome strangers coming from any direction. This was more than a way for others to enter his tent from any side; it was a way for Abraham to see strangers outside in all directions and run out to greet them and offer them shelter and sustenance.

This story can resonate for adoptive parents in ways we could never have imagined when we were younger. We have learned anew to open our tents, our home and our hearts, in all directions. We have learned to reach out, to greet the stranger, and our lives are so much richer for it.

My parents may remember my bar mitzvah d’var many years ago, in which I used the similarity of the Hebrew words bonayim and banayim to talk about children being the builders of our future. The idea was good enough that I recycled it for my graduation speech from Hebrew High School. But now, with David just six weeks old, we recognize that we are all the builders of David’s future—all of us here today, and all who allowed us to reach this point. David’s birthparents, who put such tremendous faith and trust in us to become the parents to this child they loved. Our parents, who raised us with values we can now pass along to David. My father’s father, after whom David is named. And because our child is David ben Shlomo, his name includes my mother’s father Salo as well after whom I received my Hebrew name Shlomo.

This is David ben Shlomo, I am Shlomo ben Yitzhak, and my father is Yitzhak ben David. David ben Shlomo ben Yitzhak ben David. This is not a time travel paradox; it is a cycle and circle of tradition which I am proud to be a part of, and which L and I are grateful to be able to raise our son to be a part of.

L and I have a son because we were able to open our tent on all four sides. We cannot imagine a greater blessing, and we are so glad to be able to share this day with all of you. Our lunch won’t be the immense feast that Abraham served to the three strangers who came to visit him, in part because the mikveh will not allow us to slaughter a fatted calf, but I dare say we will be serving you lunch with equal joy. Thank you for being here with us, for your tremendous support along this journey, and please remind us to keep our home and our hearts always open.