The yeahs have it

We ask David a lot of questions. A common one is “Are you still awake?” as we drive with a quiet David in the back seat of the car. Regular breathing used to mean that he was napping, but these days he answers “yeah” more often than we expect. He gives the same “yeah” response if we ask “How are you doing back there?” instead. The answer is perfectly clear, even if it would be odd coming from an adult.

We ask questions that require specific answers to encourage David to use more words. We phrase requests as questions. We ask questions that have no answer. And then we act surprised when children later start asking a million questions themselves, following exactly what we’ve been modeling for years.

The yes/no questions are the easy ones, and there are many questions that receive an immediate and enthusiastic “yeah.” Would you like to get up? Are you hungry? Do you want to go out to the park? Was that tasty? Did you have fun?

Not every question gets a positive answer. Do you want a clean diaper? No. Is it time for a nap? No! Do you want to eat this piece of broccoli? NOOOO!

David is an agreeable child, and “yeah” was one of his first words, so we hear it a lot. It’s still a thrill every time we hear it. We use questions that we know will get a “yeah” to put David in a better mood, to set the stage for a more difficult question, to open a negotiation. David uses “yeah” to confirm that he’s listening, to encourage us, to tell us that we’re on the right track.

Tonight as L was leaving his room after he fell asleep, she whispered “Sleep well, David.” After a moment came a whispered “yeah” in reply.

Yeah.