Entering into conversation

We recently met several more adoptive families, and it was fascinating to learn a bit of their experiences and share a bit of ours. Everyone’s path is different. Some aspects feel very familiar to us, some seem within the range of expected variation, and some are simply unimaginable.

What would it have been like to be chosen suddenly after David was born, rather than being chosen months earlier? How would it feel to be in direct contact with his birthparents? To know nothing about his birthfather, or to know much more about his birthparents than we do?

We can wonder, and listen, and ask questions. And it helps us recognize that part of the reason that this path is so unfamiliar is that it is actually many diverging and reconverging paths, and that many people who have been down one of these paths are naturally reluctant to talk about their experience.

You may just be here to see photos of David, and that’s fine. But if you have questions for us, if you want to know more about the path we followed, it’s ok to ask us. We may not have answers, or we may avoid answering some questions because we want to respect the privacy of David’s birthparents, or because we feel that David should be the first person to know the answer to certain questions. We don’t know ourselves where those boundaries are, and they will change over time. But we don’t mind the questions. All we ask is that you respect our boundaries if you run into them, and that you recognize that the experience of every adoptive family is unique. We are still learning that ourselves.